Over the last couple of weeks, the idea of “pursuit” has been pressed upon my heart in almost every aspect of my life. From relationships and friendships, to how I spend my time, I can’t seem to get away from “pursuit”. I’ve noticed from past experiences that when I can’t seem to get away from something, it’s actually something God is trying to get me to turn towards.
I’d like to share a little bit about what I’m learning about pursuit through each of these aspects.
1. Relational Pursuit: When a man has tried to pursue me in the past, I haven’t been very good at just letting him be the man. I want things to go my way, so I try to take control. But I am slowly learning that that does not work. I am the woman and not the man, for a reason. I have a purpose, predetermined by God, and I strongly believe that my purpose is not to pursue a man. In fact, I believe that as women, we are to be helpmates to our man and let him be the gentleman that God has created him to be! Notice that I said “God”, not you. You (I), cannot change a man. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to say that to myself. Repeat it, actually. Let the man be himself is what I am learning. You don’t want someone who is trying to be someone they’re not, because they can’t keep up that charade forever. I’d much rather have someone who is free to be himself around me. I also don’t want to be “that woman” that feels the need to control everything and everyone around her, because I have been her before and it’s not a fun position to be in. Learning to be okay with not being in control is new for me. It’s a work in progress. But I think I’m going to like the outcome.
Not only does the idea of relational pursuit come into play with the men in my life, but also with the women. I feel that sometimes my friends get put on the back-burners of my life, especially when school is crazy and/or I don’t feel good (lately it seems that second one comes into play a lot more than the crazy school life). The past few weeks I have been able to spend time pursuing certain friendships, and it feels so good to know I have these friends in my life. The Lord has definitely blessed me!
2. Spiritual Pursuit: (I have a lot to say about this one) This semester has been kind of crazy for me. It definitely has not been as crazy and hectic and insane as last semester was, but still, it is probably around a 6 or 7 out of 10 on the “crazy scale”. So whenever I have a break, I like to do nothing but watch Netflix. That seems to be the new thing to do these days. Just find a show you enjoy and binge watch. For me, that’s practically every medical tv show that is on Netflix (I love Bones). What tends to happen though, is I get sucked into this never-ending cycle of binge watching. I find myself saying, “Just one more episode! Then I’ll study/sleep/do my treatments.” Yea. Then I find myself starting a new series because I just watched all six seasons in the time period of three days. Whoops.
Now here is where complete honesty comes in (you can expect this from me in all of my blog posts, actually). I have been pursuing Netflix instead of my relationship with Jesus. My walk with God has definitely fallen short this semester. When I’ve had a hard day, the first thing I find myself wanting to do is watch Netflix. I don’t want to run to Jesus. What does this mean? Netflix has become my idol. I hate to say that. In fact, I’ve been ignoring it for some time now. I didn’t want to believe it!
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10:13-15, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry. I speak to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say.”
Well I don’t know about y’all, but I consider myself to be a sensible person, so it’s obvious that Paul is speaking to me. In a culture that is filled with moral depravity and pressures, Paul is giving us encouragement. He said that wrong desires and temptations happen to everyone, not just you! You don’t have to feel alone. Because of that, it’s also good to realize that others have resisted temptation, so you can too. Any temptation can be resisted because God will help you overcome that temptation by helping you 1. recognize those people/situations that give you trouble, 2. run from anything you know is wrong, 3. choose to do only what is right, 4. pray for God’s help, 5. seek friends who love God and can offer help when you are tempted. In fact, running from temptation is the first step to victory!
I’m so grateful that God has continued to pursue me during this time. I’m grateful for this revelation and for the opportunity to restore my relationship with Christ. To do this, I have decided to take a nice long break from Netflix. No more indulging in “pagan” influences. I will be spending my time doing better things. Which leads me to the third aspect that pursuit has come into my life.
3. Physical Pursuit: I have struggled with this since I was little. I’m not sure if there will ever come a day where I don’t struggle with taking my pills and doing my treatments. But, with Netflix out of the picture, I honestly think that I will have more time to take care of my body. This includes going to the gym and of course, doing CF-related necessary activities that I really don’t enjoy in the least. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” Keeping my body healthy is something that will glorify God, as my body belongs to Him. It is not mine, but His.
4. Classroom Pursuit: Studying is also something that I will have more time for without Netflix in my life. I know it’s a little weird, but I actually enjoy studying sometimes. I count it as a gift because I believe that’s how I have managed to get fairly good grades my entire life. What can I say? I enjoy learning!
God has brought a lot to my attention lately, and I am so grateful to have the opportunity to share it with you. Maybe you find yourself spread a little thin sometimes. I have come to realize that it’s probably because my relationship with God is also “spread a little thin”. It’s time to bring it back.
I just had a pretty cool metaphor come into my mind, and it’s going to make me look a like a complete nerd, but I just really want to write it down and share it. I’m going to bring in a little bit of biochemistry for you here 🙂 Just like triglycerides (fat molecules) have a glycerol backbone to hold them together, we have God to hold us together. Without Him, we are just free fatty acids floating around in the blood without a purpose. But when the glycerol molecule grabs a hold of us, then we can be used for energy! Ha! I love my major.
Wow. I realize this post is full of a lot of random thoughts and it really doesn’t have a lot of structure. But this is me on a Sunday night during Spring Break before I wake up to go to work in the morning. I encourage you all to be that triglyceride, and not the free fatty acid, and ask yourself, What are you pursuing?